Discover the New York Times bestselling book that Bachelor fans—and even Bachelor stars—can’t stop talking about! Beloved fan favorite Andi Dorfman tells the unvarnished truth about her engagement, her public breakup, and why looking for love on television is no paradise.
Millions of people tuned in to see Bachelorette star Andi Dorfman get engaged to her chosen suitor. But when the cameras turned off and the dust (or rose petals) had settled, Andi realized she was engaged to a man she’d known for barely two months. And as they endeavored to return to normal life, they discovered that happily ever after wasn’t as easy as it looked. In her own words, Andi delivers “plenty of surprise (and some disturbing) details” (Cosmopolitan) as she tells the whole truth about her entry into the exclusive Bachelor family, her experience on the show, and finally, what happened to make it all fall apart.
But this is much more than the diary of a very public breakup—Andi divulges her story along with some no-nonsense, straight-talking advice to other women dealing with their own romantic issues. In It’s Not Okay, Andi is the best friend we all wish we had, telling us the good, the bad, and the ugly to inspire us to always be true to ourselves and remember breakups may be hard, but it’s always going to be okay.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Imagine if a man wrote such a book as this.
Imagine if a man explained that he was fairly certain one of his two finalists was not “the one” but said he took home “the dud” to meet the family anyway in order to “set the benchmark low” and make the other finalist look better by comparison.
Let’s switch the gender around in some of her quotes and imagine a man saying this stuff:
“I realize exactly what I need to do…_____ HER! Figuratively, literally, symbolically, raunchily, all of it…”
“There are very few things, if any, in this world that carry more power than sex. It is one of the greatest sources of temptation, the easiest way to mind-____ a WOMAN, and if you do it right, the most rewarding revenge imaginable.”
“After all, what says ‘____ you,’ to a WOMAN louder than literally ______ HER?”
You can practically smell the red wine wafting off the pages of this drunken post-breakup "diary." Written in a haphazard, stream-of-consciousness style, Andi's account begins on the day of her breakup. Each subsequent day, she sifts through the experiences (in no particular order) that lead to d-day. Each anecdote is tied up neatly with a completely meaningless "lesson learned" (example: "nothing good comes of free drinks" or the poignant "S-E-X more like S-E-Yessss!")
Branded as an "anti self-help" book (whatever that means), this collection of ramblings sounds more like a drunken voicemail message from a recently-dumped girlfriend than a cohesive memoir (let alone a self-help book or juicy tell all). Under the guise of "being honest," Andi hurls half-inflated jabs at Number 25 (Nick) and Number 26 (Josh), but her evidence falls flat: Josh called her a whore and was a controlling meathead (wow, never would have guessed...),...
I liked Andi on the Bachelor with Juan Pablo and as the Bachelorette. She seemed intelligent and interesting - but this book...it definitely shows Andi in a different light. She's not a great writer, but that aside - the book is strangely written, reading like hybrid between a diary and a half-hearted self-help book. The story is not cohesive, with lots of bouncing around. I hate that she never refers to people on the show by name (for example, Juan Pablo is known as Number 1, Nick is called Number 25 and Josh is Number 26. How dumb is that? Why not just call them by their names? It's weird.
Not a whole lot of interesting information about actually being on the show or the experience in general. She also seems to blame Josh 100% for the breakup, and takes very little responsibility for her own actions/behavior. There are always 2 sides to every story, and it just seemed like there is no attempt to self-reflect about what she might have done wrong in the relationship...
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