The Good Humor Man: Or, Calorie 3501

In this satiric romp inspired by Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451, set in 2041, government-sanctioned vigilantes—the Good Humor Men—ruthlessly patrol the streets, immolating all fattening food products as illegal contraband. A pound of real chocolate is worth more on the black market than a kilo of cocaine. Evil “nutraceutical” company MannaSantos controls the food market with genetically modified products, such as “Leanie Lean” meats. But the craze for svelte healthfulness has reached a critical turning point, as a mysterious wasting plague threatens to starve all of humanity.

A lone ex-plastic surgeon and founding Good Humor Man, whose father performed a secret liposuction surgery on Elvis Presley, holds the key to humanity’s future. In a mad dash to retrieve his family heirloom—the mortal remains of the King’s belly fat—Dr. Louis Shmalzberg becomes entangled with a civil servant of questionable motives, an acquisitive assassin from a wealthy Caliphate, a power-mad preacher evangelizing anorexia, a beautiful young woman addicted to liposuction, and a homicidal clone from a MannaSantos experiment gone terribly wrong.

Can Elvis save the world sixty-four years after his death?