On a scale of 1-10, Tim's book is an 11. Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" gave us the macro message: "Be Likable". Tim Sanders explains the micro details of how to actually "BE" likeable.
As a business consultant, I'd rate myself these days as a 6 moving toward 7. Ronald Reagan was probably a 10 or 11; Merv Griffin is right up there, too.
As a young man raised in a toxic environment, I was probably a 4 on the likeability scale. For many years, beginning with "How to Win Friends ...", I read everything from Freud and Jung to Games People Play and Transactional Analysis. As a loner, I took engineering courses and was "respected", but not socially successful.
After much "psychological bootstrapping", I got my first sales job at the relatively late age of 33, selling expensive, complex electronic test systems. Looking back on those times where I lost a job, alienated a co-worker or upset my wife, I realize now that I sorely...
Tim's first book, Love is The Killer App, is one of the most influential books I've read in the past few years. The Likeability Factor is another winner from Tim Sanders.
The big idea of this book is that being likeable is extremely important because:
"The choices you make don't shape your life as much as the choices other people make about you."
People make choices using the following three steps:
1) Listen - people can chose to listen to you
2) Believe - people can chose to believe you
3) Value - people can chose to value what you offer
Likeability affects all three.
There are four elements of likeability:
1) Friendliness. Friendliness is the threshold of likeability
2) Relevance, how you connect with another person's wants or needs
3) Empathy (not sympathy)
4) Realness or authenticity. Lack of realness, like lying, hypocrisy, or insincerity can suck...
This book is divided into two parts; the first half is about why the 'L factor' (likability) is important and the second half is about raising your L factor.
The introduction starts off with this radio dude, 'Mikey', who is really miserable about his life, everybody hates him, and he's about to lose his job. Enter the author. He tells Mikey about how likability is important and how he should be less negative. After following the author's advice, his life becomes a halcyon wonderland. OK, kind of a cliche story, but I kept reading anyway.
It got worse--the author has a very boring style of writing. This is the format of the book: x study shows likability helps with y trait/ anecdote about sad person who lacked y trait/ sad person learns about the L-factor and then gains y trait/sad person is now happy person.
It's hard to avoid this format when giving citations, but I felt like I was reading a English 101 paper where one gives a citation and then...
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