The best-seller that helps you say: "I just said 'no' and I don't feel guilty!" Are you letting your kids get away with murder? Are you allowing your mother-in-law to impose her will on you? Are you embarrassed by praise or crushed by criticism? Are you having trouble coping with people? Learn the answers in When I Say No, I Feel Guilty, the best-seller with revolutionary new techniques for getting your own way.
Manuel J. Smith
Mass Market Paperback
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
While based on solid theory, this book teaches practical skills that you can use immediately. You'll find yourself comfortably using some techniques well before you even finish the book. This book impressed me when I first read it 25 years ago. And it has stood the test of time: I felt amazed at how much more useful the techniques seemed when I reread it recently. A couple of points deserve emphasis: 1. In addition to teaching you how to say "no" without feeling guilty, the author masterfully teaches you simple, powerful techniques for keeping your cool while you're under attack. 2. This book plays an important role in the set of cognitive, emotive, and behavioral skills taught by psychologists such as Albert Ellis and David Burns. While books such as "A New Guide to Rational Living" (Ellis) and "The Feeling Good Handbook" (Burns) contain tools that address a far wider range of problems, Smith's methods work far more rapidly, easily,...
Many years have passed since I first bought and read Dr. Smith's revolutionary book. I have never found any techniques so universally applicable for dealing with people who don't care about fairness or my feelings. I have successfully used the broken record and fogging techniques to deal with manipulative relatives who want to tell me what to do "to help me" and self-disclosure and the broken record to convince store employees to accept back defective merchandise even if their store policy "doesn't allow" them to do this! This book taught me how to stand up for myself and stop trying to solve everyone else's problems (the store's agreement with a manufacturer or distributor)and focus on getting what I have paid for. I am smiling as I write this because I have just returned from a trip to a major toy retailer whose store manager refused to take back a defective stroller "because you don't have the box." Needless to say, after using Dr...
Back in August 1979,the beginning of my senior year of high school,one of my brothers came to visit Mom and me.This brother is 9 years older than me,and he watched as most of the adults in my life slowly squeezed "me" out of me.I was the "perfect" young woman;cooked,cleaned,fetched, and carried for my older relatives.I dressed the way I was told(the way that they thought I should),behaved the way I was told(demure,and "ladylike"),and lived to their standards.If I ever behaved the way I really wanted to(free),the litany would start--"After all we've given up for you-how you hurt us...etc.".My brother saw through the guilt trip I was on,and when he brought me to live with him,he made me read'When I say NO,I feel guilty'.Well, no more!This book taught me that I can say"No thank you",and feel powerful because I am in control of my feelings and actions.Now, no one can 'make' me feel anything unless I want to! How free is that?!
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